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Turn off the Gaslight

There’s a big difference between misunderstandings that can be resolved and trying to argue about reality. A misunderstanding can be cleared up relatively quickly and simply. Arguing what reality is will only go in circles. 

If you find yourself in a loop like this, the only way to win is to disengage completely. 

Allow them to see you as wrong, or the villain, or whatever they were going to see you as anyway. 

It may or may not be them trying to gaslight you. They may just see things differently. Either way, when you know it isn’t true, step out with confidence in your truth and move forward without them.

In order to do this, you have to do 3 things:

1.  know who you are

2.  be living life honestly

3. love yourself. 

If you aren't doing these three things, you risk getting caught up in trying to receive an identity and validation by winning their approval. 

If they were gaslighting you, you will lose yourself. If they were seeking someone else and you attempted to become that someone to receive love and acceptance from them, you'll lose yourself and resent them for it. 

Your power is inside of you. 

Allow them to go on being mad, and take some time to heal. Accept and love yourself. Forgive yourself for the times in your past when you were not being truthful, and commit to living with integrity from now, on. It can be difficult to be honest when you know it can cause people to be disappointed or when they may reject you, but disappointing someone with the truth is better than pleasing them with a lie. Being rejected for being who you are is better than being accepted for who you aren't. 

You're going to develop confidence in who you are and in your choices. You're going to view rejection not as "you're not good enough" but instead as "it wasn't right for you, but they happened to see it first." 

You're going to waste much less time trying to fit in places where you just don't fit. 

You're going to belong to yourself. 

You're going to know yourself. 

You're going to love and respect yourself. 

You're going to attract and keep people to your life who will respect and love you, too. 

-Doe Zantamata 

Learn more about how to rebuild trust in relationships and with yourself. Spot "red flags" more easily, and protect your own wellbeing. "Happiness in Your Life - Book Four: Trust," by Doe Zantamata: 


  1. Thank you for the help.

  2. Sad ,the person who’s gaslighting me is, the person I live with, my Brother. I didn’t know the storm I was walking into 5 years ago, when I needed his help and a place to live. Long story short, He’s a Narcissist and even to make it a sadder situation , his Dementia is escalating with every passing day. As much as I feel angry, I feel sad for him. He needs me but doesn’t even know it.


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