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How to Heal People Pleasing and Approval Seeking Patterns

  You may never have learned how to decide what you actually want or what’s right for you. If you were in an abusive or even overly strict childhood, you may have learned to keep your thoughts to yourself and become aware of what you think the parent wants so that you can avoid being in trouble or being hurt.  That may have helped you survive childhood, but it will destroy all of your adult relationships.  Recreating that method will have you assume the role of positive and agreeable partner at first, followed by resentful that you never get what you want or it’s all about them. This may seem very real to you but the truth was, you built that via dishonesty from day one.  You’ll only change what you see as a problem, so if you label your actions as “easy going” or think your motives are “if you’re happy, I’m happy,” you won’t change them.  It’s only if you call them dishonest and realize the fear underneath was that if you actually said what you wanted or didn’t want, you’d be rejected

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