Change before it Changes You


I've done it.

It's much more empowering to change instead of waiting or hoping for someone else to change. 

You know the difference between patience and habit. While you're waiting for them to change, they may be waiting for you to get used to it. 

Decide if it's a deal breaker or not, and choose to accept it and stay, or accept it and leave. 

If you stay past the point of where your patience has worn thin, you'll become more frustrated and intolerant. You'll lose your rational center and become fixed on when "the next time" will happen. You may even try to anticipate and prevent it, and then become hypersensitive to it. Then, their focus will turn to how "irrational" you are acting instead of changing. 

What you focus on increases, so it will become a larger problem the 100th time than it was the first time. 

You have to step out of the loop before it becomes a downward spiral. 

Choose before it changes you into someone you wouldn't want to be around. 

When is the right time? 

Some people don't set any amount of times and those are the most likely to hit the spiral. 

If you set how many times, 1, 3, 5...then you decide how much room you leave for misunderstanding, bad days, or reasonable excuses.

After that, you reach a choice point; 
1. accept you'll be disappointed when they do what they often do, 
2. create distance so it doesn't happen as much, or 
3. dissolve the relationship entirely. 

Do what you feel you can best live with long term. 

Don't leave room for argument at that point. They may very well think you are being unreasonable because it works for them. 

You decide what's best for you and don't let any outer guilt muddle your decision. 

Sometimes, the choice breaks down to them being a little mad now, or you being really angry later. There is no perfect choice, but the first is definitely better than the second.

- Doe Zantamata

Comments

  1. When you have wasted so much time ( Time that you've never get back) Someone who tells you that he loves you but he's action speaks louder than his words. Who takes the Advantage on your kindness, Who always take And never give! Broken promises all I was given

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