Five Unbreakable Rules for Unbreakable Trust

Five Unbreakable Rules for Unbreakable Trust
by Doe Zantamata

From day one of a new connection, you are in the process of building trust. They may fully trust you with a clean slate as it should be, or they may have some residual trust issues that will prevent that. You may have the same. You can’t really determine or control where a person is in their openness but you can control how you act and what you say.

Here are some important rules to keep in mind as your and their story unfolds:


1. Honest doesn’t mean fully transparent from the start. 

If you’ve just met someone, you shouldn’t feel as though you are being dishonest if you don’t feel like opening up your life and tossing it all on the table. People shouldn’t have to earn trust, but you should have some boundaries early on as the relationship unfolds.

2. Don’t try to appear perfect. 

If you don’t know something, just say you don’t know. If you made a mistake, say you made a mistake and apologize. None of us know everything and we all make mistakes. What damages trust isn’t the not knowing or the mistakes, it’s how they are handled when they happen.

3. Try to recognize when something similar isn’t the same. 

We’ve all been lied to and betrayed. We may be a little more touchy when a circumstance comes up that looks similar to one in the past with a different person. Of course you want to learn from your past pain and some things that look similar are the same. But if you jump the gun and assign the guilty verdict too soon, it will put the other person into shock.

4. Be honest about the little things that don’t seem to matter. 

Sometimes people try to avoid conflict by telling little white lies to try and make themselves look better. Though they may seem little and insignificant, they can happen many times a day and turn into a really bad habit. They can also add up and erupt like a volcano later on when it’s noticed that you “always” do them. If you’re running 20 minutes late, don’t say you’re running 10 minutes late because it sounds better.

5. Be Honest about the big things that do matter. 

It’s never a good time for bad news, but it’s always the right time for the truth. The longer a lie is held, the more difficult it becomes to reveal the truth. If it’s held a long time, two truths must be told; the original lie, and the reason it was held and covered so many times for so long.

These are from the book, "Happiness in Your Life - Book Four: Trust"

by Doe Zantamata

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