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Envy is a Little Green Monster

Envy is a little green monster.

Envy is a little green monster.

It tries to tell you that you are not as good as someone else, and never will be.

People envy different things about other people, based on what is or isn't important to them. Wealth, beauty, a loving relationship, success, popularity…but these are all nice things to have in one's life.

If you ever feel envy inside, ask yourself:

1. What exactly do you envy?
2. Why do you believe it's important?
3. Why don't you believe something similar can be true for you?

The interesting thing is that most of all things envied are only surface perceptions.

Those who envy beauty often believe it's necessary to attract and keep a partner, but what they're really after is self worth and love. Neither of those two things are guaranteed with beauty, and neither of those things can be fulfilled by any outer relationship. They have to be developed from within.

Success is often perceived as meaning a person is important, or has financial freedom and security. Again, those things are only on the surface. Below the envy of those perceptions is one's own insecurity, fear of being a failure, and fear of scarcity. One person's success most often has nothing to do with another person's lack of success. Instead of envying a successful person, a person would be better served figuring themselves out. What are their own talents and skills, and how may they better use and develop them?

When some people see a couple in a happy relationship, it's painful for them. They can't stand to see the affection of the couple and feel as though displaying their happiness is somehow "rubbing it in their face" that they do not have the same. But the happiness of one couple isn't luck. It's a mix of love, patience, communication, effort, honesty, and vulnerability. Those things are choices and those things are possible for any two people who decide that the strength and happiness of a relationship with each other is worth it.

Envy is never about the person who is being envied. It's always about the person doing the envying. If a person is confident, secure, and has a good sense of self and self worth, then another person's good fortune, success, or happiness are nice things to see. To a person who envies everything good and everyone around them, the only way they wouldn't feel unhappy is if everyone else were broke, alone, and miserable. While you cannot fix another person's envy, you can keep your own feelings in check and make sure that if you ever feel even a tiny ping of envy in your heart, you get to the root of it and remember that good and great things are always possible for you, too.

By Doe Zantamata



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