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Karma: Law 5, The Law of Mirrors

Karma: Law 5, The Law of Mirrors:
If they can see it in you and label it, but you can't see it, it's not in you.
If you can see it in them and label it, but they can't see it, it's not in them.
If you both can see and label it, it's in both of you...good or bad.
Karma – The Law of Mirrors
By Doe Zantamata

The Fifth Law of Karma is the Law of Mirrors. It has two distinct parts. Overall, it’s the Law of Personal Responsibility.

The first part of this Law is that:

If we can label a quality in another person, then it means that quality is also within us.

This can be good or bad news!

Think of the people you know, and think of or make a list of the qualities you would say they have. Be honest. This is just an exercise for you.

Some people, you may describe as kind, generous, thoughtful, or others you may say are arrogant, self-centered, or inconsiderate. All of the qualities on your list are also in you. This is at first difficult to believe, as when we’re calling someone arrogant, we certainly don’t think we are, too.

Whatever you believe about someone, they probably also believe about you.

Have you ever been told you were so thoughtful by someone who you believe is very thoughtful? Have you ever been called controlling by someone who you believe is controlling? Or insecure by someone you think is insecure?

In all of those cases, you’re both right.

This isn’t an article intending to insult anyone or make anyone go on the defensive. This is an amazing shift in awareness that allows you to see the truth about yourself, as well as free you from other people’s perceptions that you cannot change. It’s a tool to help you make improvements where necessary, and also see what great qualities you have that you may not even realize.

A mirror will not show your beautiful hair if you do not have beautiful hair. It will not show your large feet if you do not have large feet. It will not show any negative qualities that you yourself do not have, and will not show any positive qualities that you do not have, either.

This Law, when fully understood, also can also really help you understand why some people act the way they do.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, a person you just met or even an old friend or family member, and you seem to be speaking two different languages? Maybe they suddenly get angry or accuse you of something or insult you, and you’re totally taken off guard and shocked.

This is what happens when two mirrors do not reflect the same things. If they have within them something that you do not have, they see it in you even though it’s just not there.

If you truly do not have it, you do not see it in them, yourself, or anyone else, because it doesn’t exist in you.

When this attack happens, it’s a really jarring experience. You may try to even clarify what you meant by something, but they still can only see what’s being reflected back to them.

You may then ask another friend what they think of what’s happened, in an attempt to try to figure it out for yourself. If that friend immediately says, “Oh, she’s so…” but if that friend recognized it, it means he or she also has that negative quality.

You may still not see it, and say, “I don’t think so…” no matter how certain they are.

Now, if that friend were also really confused as to why the first one blew up, then it means he or she does not have that quality either.

There is a danger in being close to someone who has negative qualities that you do not possess. The danger lies in your taking their blow ups personally and feeling awful as a result. When we’re faced with something confusing like that from someone we love, it really hurts, and we sometimes internalize that pain. You don’t know why they’re so upset or angry, as you cannot see what they see, but you don’t want them to continue to be upset.

What you need to realize is that there is nothing YOU can do to remove that negative quality from them. You can’t even see it. It will be up to them to remove it from themselves. This may or may not happen in their entire lifetime.

If this is something that happens regularly, then you are setting yourself up for verbal abuse as long as you stay close to them. You can choose to put some distance between yourself and them, or if it happens weekly or even daily, you may even consider letting them go from your life.

By staying close to them and continually getting accused of negative qualities in your attempt to help them to not be upset, you may try so hard to understand and see what they are talking about, that you end up picking up some of those qualities. Then you would be able to clearly see those qualities everywhere you go, but it would also unfortunately mean that they’ve developed in you. This is not a good solution, and will decrease your overall happiness, and the happiness of everyone you contact.

Suddenly, you may see negative things in other people that they do not possess, but the qualities have become part of you, so you just see them everywhere.

Anger and confusion are actually your friends here. They indicate when there is a difference in mirrors.

For example, if you are always doing thoughtful things for someone, and they never do a thoughtful thing for you, you may not understand why and get a little angry about it. It means that consideration is just not in them.

If someone gets angry with you and you just don’t understand why, it means that whatever they are angry with you about is not the truth. It’s what they see in the world, so it’s true for them, but it’s just not in you.

Examples of this are:

- when someone is shy but gets accused of being arrogant
- when someone is outgoing but gets accused of being obnoxious
- when someone is kind but gets accused of “only” doing nice things for ulterior or selfish motives

If you can label it, it’s in you. If they can label it, it’s in them. If you both can label it, it’s in both of you, good and bad.

Remember, too, that we’re all walking our own path. While you may be tempted to convince someone that your acts were truly just thoughtful or kind, or you may be really hurt when they accuse you of something negative, you just can’t convince them that your motives were pure. It’s like two people speaking entirely different languages attempting to understand each other, or like a person who has sight getting frustrated with a person who is blind because they cannot see what they see.

Once you learn this Law, it really clarifies a lot of people’s seemingly odd behavior. It suddenly shows that their behavior makes total and perfect sense.

This is an excerpt from the book: Happiness in Your Life - Book One: Karma - By Doe Zantamata

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  1. The logic seems flawed here. Say:
    Person A thinks he is thoughtful.
    Person B thinks A is thoughtful.
    Person A thinks B is NOT toughtful.

    What does that imply?
    - A is thoughtful, B is not (sounds correct to me)
    - Both are not thoughtful
    - Both are thoughtful
    - B is thoughtful, A is not.

    The whole logic is too simplistic and contradicts itself.

    1. Thank you for your comment, but this isn't the correct interpretation according to the Law of Mirrors.

      Keep in mind that you can only see others actions, not their reasons behind those actions. The reasons you assign to them exist in your mind only. Even if they tell you a reason and you agree with it or don't believe their reason, that all has to do with you.

      Using your example, let's first separate an observation from an attached reason. The reason may be "because they are thoughtful." The observation may be, "giving a gift."

      What the person thinks of themselves does not reveal what's in them, which is why it is the law of mirrors. So the first statement is moot.

      If person B sees person A give someone a gift and concludes that person A is thoughtful, it means that person B is thoughtful and would also give someone a gift because he or she is thoughtful.

      If person A sees person B give someone a gift and concludes that the reason is not just because he or she is thoughtful, but because he or she wants to get something in return, or wants to win the favor of the recipient, or is trying to make the recipient think that he or she is nice, then those reasons all exist only in Person A's mind, and they are telling of the reason why person A would give a gift, and say nothing about why person B gave the gift.

      So in the interpretation,

      Person A is not thoughtful
      Person B is thoughtful

  2. How does this work if you think person A gave a gift bc he is thoughtful based off of knowledge of person A, but person C gave a gift bc he wants something in return (and you base this off of past behavior/observations of person C in the past). Can't people be observant of people's motives and doesn't intuition come into play here as well?

    1. You cannot see thoughts. You can only see actions. The thought behind the action is held within your mind, which is where it exists. If you know a person to be a crook then you'll likely question all their motives, but that's based on judgment based on past experience. Intuition plays into everything when it's used as a sense (same as all other senses). Just sometimes it's difficult to remember that in the moment if accused of something awful that isn't true.

  3. For the sake of argument, let's say someone called me selfish and cruel and I was confused about this. I could not understand why I was called these names and I racked my brain trying to figure out what I said or did that would have brought them to that conclusion. By the Karma logic, this would be saying that they themselves are cruel and selfish and I am not because I am confused about how they drew that conclusion. However, what if I came to the realization that the fact that they called me selfish and cruel is a cruel act in itself because it was baseless. Would that also imply that I am cruel as well? I have a hard time reconciling this. Please clarify. Thank you!

    1. Dear Chaos, Thank you. The difference is in the act versus the label. If you see someone do something cruel or mean or with anger, those are just observations. If you assign a reason as to why they did it, then that is the label and that's what is in your mind and if you were to do the same act it would be for that reason, but it may not be the reason at all.

      So, selfish is the label…the thing that is in the person saying it to you. What they perceive as selfish in you may actually be selfish, or it may be many other reasons. If you both were at a party and you took the last piece of cake, you may have done so thinking everyone else already had some, or because it was there and you were hungry. But a person may then tell you that you are selfish for taking it because if they were to take the last piece of cake, they would feel it would be a selfish act even though they may be the only one who would think that.

      The main thing again is that when it comes to your observations, are they just the observation or have you added in a reason in their mind that you cannot see. And the main thing to remember when someone makes an observation about you that is totally not true, to realize that in their mind it is true because it's in them. "You're selfish, arrogant, argumentative, judgmental, manipulative…" all those things can be interpreted from actions without them being the actions at all. So to remember this means to not get sucked in to bending over backwards to defend yourself because they just won't be able to see it.

  4. Wow......

    I always tell my frie.ds "people accuse you of things because thats what they would do or thinl or feel. To actually have a label and a deeper understanding is mind boggling.

    I do have a question though,
    What anout being insecure? IfIf ypu have a friend who doesn't have much , and your doing well and decded to buy a car,but you dont want to show them because you dont wantthem to think you are throwing it in their face. Even though they have never accused you of doing that.....,

    What would that thought say about me?

  5. Of course there is a nugget of wisdom in this “law.” But you don’t have to be a sociopath to identify sociopathic behavior. You don’t have to have dyslexia or be transgender to recognize or name it in another.

    So what sayeth thou to this HUGE elephant in the room, that the Karmic Law of Mirrors fails to mention? Or is there yet another unwritten interpretation of this law?

    I think it is a brilliant mindfulness practice which guides us to empathy, compassion, and perspective taking BEFORE WE CRITICIZE or COMPLAIN.
    HOWEVER, even if you consider DoeZ’s interpretation, ie, adding the concept of Reflected INTENTION, and not just action, it still has a big ole blindspot.

    The elephant in the room that is immediately obvious to me is that The Karmic Law of Mirrors doesn’t often apply to the Master, the Expert, the Wise, or the Intuitive Genius, esp. of Human Behavior, Spirituality, and Psychology. I concede that at times a Wise Master can have a weak moment and judge from their shadow side, misinterpreting the intention or hidden circumstances behind another’s behavior.
    But to be at that Expert level, by definition they should be able to reliably and correctly identify symptoms, patterns, and often discern common hidden intentions which are common to all humans. Humans have a limited number of basic wants and needs, and we have a limited range of coping strategies when we struggle to fulfill those needs. An empathic/ emotionally intelligent person can observe behavior patterns and at least narrow cause and effect down to a shortlist, again, without also having the same issue going on.


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