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Complete Connection

We are all connected through kindness, trust, and love. 

In a relationship, any relationship, whether it be romantic, friends, or work, these three qualities need to be present for a complete connection. If one is missing or becomes broken, it must be tended to, or the relationship will not be fulfilling.

When there is love, thoughts, actions, and words between people are for the good of all. Love is tied to appreciation, which is something that we need to feel every day from those closest to us. When relationships break down, or when people don't like their jobs, the underlying reason is usually lack of appreciation. When a job is difficult or doesn't pay well, many times, people stay if they feel they are greatly appreciated. In longer-term relationships, appreciation is sometimes taken for granted amidst life's daily business. If a person strays, it's many times because someone new gave them a lot of appreciation, admiration, and attention. This is why it's so very crucial to show love and appreciation daily. It's just not something that can be put off for very long and then made up for in any grand gesture.

Trust is also tied to love. To love someone fully, trust is a must. This is why when trust is broken, it's so incredibly painful. The love cannot be completely fulfilled without it, but the love does not just disappear when the trust is broken. Trust prevents arguments. It prevents reading into things in a negative way. When there is lack of trust, innocent, everyday occurances can become hurtful arguments that were totally made up in the mind of the person who did not trust. The other person gets hurt and offended, and the person who did not trust is confused because the true story is so totally different than the one that they assumed to be true. Relationships just cannot survive without trust.

Staying in a relationship with an untrustworthy person takes a great toll on a person. It causes them to constantly be on their guard, and question things not only in that relationship, but in others as well. A relationship with an untrustworthy person brings out fear, panic, and even mild paranoia, due to the desire to both stay with this person, but protect the self from further pain. It's up to each person to decide for themselves if a break in trust was just a rough spot that can be worked out, or if it cannot be repaired, the relationship should end.

Kindness may seem like a part of love, but that isn't always the case. Kindness is closely tied to consideration. It's the most touching connection that can be felt. It can happen between the closest of friends, strangers, and even animals can sense it. It's the act of thinking outside of one's self and giving in words, actions, or things, something to someone else without any expectation of the gift being returned. A kind word, a favor, or a treasured, thoughtful gift are those things that really touch us and often bring tears of gratitude.

Becoming conscious, or aware of relationships and if they hold these qualities can greatly improve life. To receive them, we must also give them. If we give these things and they are questioned, taken for granted, or never returned, then we have to decide if this is the right place for us to be or not.  If we give them all and they are returned to us, we have achieved complete connection. This is a bond that is rare, but possible. Once it's achieved, it makes our world, our lives, our every day, so much better and brighter.

By Doe Zantamata

Read more about connection, actions, and consequences in Doe's book: 


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