So maybe back then you were told many times to stop asking and the answer is ”no” and that's final, but...you're not a little kid anymore.
Find within you that little determined optimist and start asking ”why?”
Start with, ”Are you happy with everything?”
Anything you're not happy with, unleash the whys on why it can't change and really keep going until you realize that there are things that can change and better things in life are possible for you and you can make them happen.
Likely not all at once, and definitely you'll need to make a whole bunch of effort, but Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was much else that's been worth it.
When you hear no, not now, or you don't deserve it from inner or outer voices, always remember to ask and keep asking... ”why?”