|Don't let something entirely out of your control entirely control you. |
So often, people let worst case scenario "what ifs" entirely control them.
*What if I get fired?
*What if he cheats on me?
*What if I fail?
*What if I look stupid?
Then worry takes over, sleep is lost, and anxiety rumbles from within.
The reality is, may you will get fired, maybe he will cheat on you, maybe you will fail, and maybe you will look stupid.
You can't really do much about those things. Those are unpredictable outcomes.
You can do your best, be the best that you know how, and of course hope for the best for everyone.
None of those things are the end of the world...
-there's more than one job in the Universe. If you were to get fired, it would mean that job was not right for you. But getting fired freed up your time to find one that is.
-if he (or she) cheats on you, then good bye and good riddance. If you're being the best person you know how to be and they value it so little that they choose to deceive you rather than appreciate you, then who needs 'em?
-people fail all the time. Some of the biggest success stories were preceeded by some of the biggest failure stories. You have not failed if you have learned. You have not failed if you try again. You have not failed if you realize there are no failures, just bumps and diversions in your path. Sometimes people get stuck on one failure from the past, not even realizing the thousands of opportunities that have come and gone since that they could have succeeded at. Learn from temporary setbacks and failures and press on.
-looking stupid is mostly a matter of perception. There are clowns in the circus who would love to be able to look stupid but just can't pull it off. A lot of people look stupid doing the very same things that people call "brilliant" and "groundbreaking" when they finally work out. We're not here to be perfect. We're here to do our best, learn, and grow. Looking stupid is a part of that process. The less it bothers you, the further you will go.
If you're ever feeling upset about an event or series of events, a relationship, or something that you believe you "have to" do but really can't stand doing, step back.
Examine the whole situation from a detached point of view...imagine it's not you but your best friend or child...what advice would you give to him or her?
What is entirely not in your control? Forbid yourself from worrying or fussing about it.
What is entirely or at least a big part in your control? Focus on that and do the best you can.
Most of all, breathe. Really. Deep breaths whenever you get tense can help to bring your body back into a relaxed state, clear your mind, and allow you to make excellent decisions with clarity.
By Doe Zantamata
Author of "One Page Stories, Volume One"
Available on Amazon.com in Paperback Full Color Poster-Book